What Engineers really mean when they say:

1. “A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED” – We are still trying to figure out if it will work.

2. ” AN EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM” – We just hired three kids just out of college.

3. “Major Technological Breakthrough” – It works OK, but it looks very high tech.

4. “Customer Satisfaction is delivery assured” – We are so far behind schedule that the customer is happy just to get delivery.

5. “Preliminary Operational Tests were inconclusive” – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

6. ” Test results were extremely gratifying” – We were surprised that the stupid thing works.

7. ” The entire concept will have to be abandoned” – The only person who understood the thing quit.

8. “It’s in process” – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

9. “Please note and initial.” – Let’s spread responsibility for the screw up.

10. “Give us the benefit of your thoughts.” – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it does not interfere with what we have already done.

11. “Advanced Prototype” – Not interchangeable with the previous design.

12. “Rugged” – Too damn heavy to lift!

13. “Lightweight” – Lighter than rugged.

14. “Years of Development” – We finally got one to work.

15. “Energy Saving” – Achieved when the power switch is off.

16. “Low Maintenance” – Impossible to fix when broken.